So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
