I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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