You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ladies don't puke and tell
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
