im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
