mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we should paint friendship bongs
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