I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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