How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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