he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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