Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
