the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
