I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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