yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
