Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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