How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
