We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
