How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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