I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
