Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
