Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize