i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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