I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
