Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
