Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
