i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize