So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
