There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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