Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
