I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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