everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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