im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
