My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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