Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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