I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
