the condom got lost in my hair
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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