anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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