I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
