My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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