you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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