I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
