Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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