And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
