So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
