i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
