omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
