What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
