On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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