remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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