I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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