I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize