she was so not down for the gang bang
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
