You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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