True but thats because hes a fetus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize