I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
