I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
