dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
