I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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