why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
