How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so let's talk penis.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
