so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
