Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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