Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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