Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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