Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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